Five Levels of Piss-tivity

August 18

                Random thoughts on a Monday evening, Larry King – in – USA – Today – style.

                Afternoon naps after an earlier morning work shift are heaven-sent.  If you have the means, I highly recommend you take one.

                ***

                I went to sleep and the Giants led the Mets 2-1.  When I awoke it was 6-1 Giants.  Will somebody lock Bruce Bochy in a room and not let him out until he agrees to start Nate Schierholtz every day?  The outfield for now should be Velez, Rowand, Schierholtz with Winn hitting against right-handers in place of Rowand.

                  That was a HUGE win for the Giants.  In the end, they didn’t retaliate for Santana’s show of moxie.  Matt Cain and David Wright met today and announced they were cool with each other, which is very good news, and the Giants won 10-1.  Given all that, the Giants must have decided to get out of town peacefully before Mayor Michael Bloomberg sent out the batter-ram.

                  ***

               I despise the Yankees, but it’s fun when the circus comes to town.  There were actual people at the Coliseum tonight as Brett Tomko went Ponce De Leon to get the win and the A’s stepped up their game.  Odd scene as A.J. Burnett balked in a run, hanging on to a pitch in mid-delivery.  Apparently he thought the batter called time out.  You know what happens when you assume.

              This also might be the only time all year the A’s get into the “A” block of “Sportscenter.”

               ***

              I like Chad Ocho Cinco.  I don’t care what anyone says.  Yes, he’s a diva but he’s a diva that makes you smile.  On HBO’s “Hard Knocks” he was explaining to his teammate that there are different levels of “piss-tivity.”  He informed his buddy that he had reached Level 5.

              His favorite phrase is “child, please.”  He uses it when he hears something stupid or outrageous.  He explains it’s his way of saying “f— you.”  Oddly charming.

             He is egotistical and temperamental, but he’s also fun and entertaining and the Bengals need him.  Cinco, or Ocho Cinco, and Carson Palmer were both hurt last season and the Bengals went 4-12.  See how much better the Bengals are this year with both healthy.

              ***

              If you believe the reports, Raiders coach Tom Cable reached Level 6.  He allegedly punched out assistant coach Randy Hanson and sent him to the hospital with a broken jaw.  I believe Hanson is currently sequestered in the Silver and Black Grotto. 

             ESPN’s Mark Schlereth says Cable told him no punches were thrown.  Napa Police didn’t pursue the case because Hanson didn’t press charges, and they apparently have no special unit to investigate coach-on-coach violence. Hanson also had a tiff with Lane Kiffin when The Kiffer was head coach of the Raiders. 

             Stay tuned for the Raiders news conference to fully disclose all the facts.

             Also, stay tuned for me on “Dancing With The Stars.”

             ***

             I’m ashamed to admit that until last Friday, I had never been to Harding Park in San Francisco.  The trailers are being put in place and bleachers are being constructed for the President’s Cup in October.  I hear some golfers in the city complain the course is poorly-maintained, but let me give you an outsider’s perspective.

             You folks have a jewel in your midst.  Yes, it could be spiffed up a bit, but it’s a very inviting track.  I only wish I had a chance to play 18 on Friday but there was only time for a driving range session.  I guess it’s the “Poor Man’s Olympic,” and it’s a beautiful setting.

             Loved my Turkey Chili for lunch, too !

              ***

              Stephen Strasburg is signed by the Nationals and other first-rounders are falling in line including Zack Wheeler with the Giants and Grant Green with the A’s.  Baseball and football draft choices get way too much relative to their value.  It’s the free market but the market is out of whack.

              Even so, Strasburg had to sign.  Failure to do so would have cost him millions because he would be labeled difficult with Scott Boras his agent.  He could pitch in the majors this year and that’ll be a badly needed shot in the arm ( bad pun ) for a lowly franchise.  That’s good for baseball.

              ***

             All eyes will be focused on Cal’s Jahvid Best during the local college football season, and with good reason.  He’s electrifying, but don’t sleep on Stanford’s Toby Gerhart.  How many great white running backs are there?  I mean GREAT ones.

              ***

              My KNBR colleagues panned me last year for my tsk-tsk on the somewhat suggestive Miley Cyrus photo shoot at age 15.  Last week she’s doing a pole dance at some teen awards show.  It looks like the next phase of Hannah Montana’s career is in high gear:  Slut Wannabe.  Fine example for young girls, and nice child-rearing, Billy Ray.

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One Response to “Five Levels of Piss-tivity”

  1. Don Says:

    Amen to the idea of starting Nate everyday in the outfield. He looks like a keeper and plays good defense too.

    Miley Cyrus the next Brittany Spears??? Sure looks that way.

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